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I am 19 years old. My parent's hate me. They prefer my brother over me. Moreover they don't like me. For every small mistake I make, they ask me to leave the house. But I cant, I dont have any financial support and i dont want to miss my education.Until I was 18 i was doing really good at school. But for the last year i am not doing well. For the first time I failed. I did well in the test but when it came to exam i failed. I dont know y i cant study and i feel horrible when i dont. I will have studied all the lessons completely for tests. but a week before the exam i wont revise anything and i regret it after failing.This is eating me up inside, mostly because I feel guilty all the time. We argue all the time, scream and fight. They tell me I’m the worst in the entire world. They curse me out. I curse them out. I say awful things I don’t mean. They say things even worse. I hate myself after I talk to them. I hate being around them, I hate living in their house, and I hate the way they treat me.I don’t want to be like that anymore. I’m trying to move out of my parents’ house, but even that is a problem due to finances. Also, my mother won’t even let me take my laptop . She knows I can’t afford those things, and knows that without them, I cannot workor learn to program. My mother has been the worst. She resents me, the life I’ve chosen. In any circumstance, she will pick anyone else in the room over me. In a recent fight, she told me she wished I had never been born, that she didn’t consider me to be a member of the family anymore, and that she hoped I’d be happy in hell and even more worse thing's. I'm tired of hearing all those abuses. In fact i hear soo much of that even i've started to use slang. my family doesn’t want me to be a part of their life anymore. I hate them, because I feel so darn guilty all the time. I feel that i dont wanna live anymore. My parents always scold and abuse me, sometimes when I cant control myself I scold them back, then they drag me pulling my collar and push me out of the house.Every time I see them in their house, they tell me how worthless I am, how everything that has gone wrong in the family is my fault, how I’m an awful person. I’m stressed out all the time from being in their presence. I’m utterly miserable, and I know that if I don’t get out soon I’m scared of what I’ll do.My father hate's me more than him my mother she feels that i am good for nothing I am selfish ( i am not ) and she always curses me. I feel that my self respect is dying. They treat me very badly. I know der r other ppl suffering more dan me bt evn dat dsnt cnsl me I feel disgusted by the way my life is going. I feel that i should switch over to lsd will it do me good? I also have terrible concentration. I cant concentrate on anything these days. I cant even meditate for some while. I have a terrible luck. Every bad thing happens only to me. No one can imagine my bad luck, it's like bad luck come's in search of me everyday. I have no friend's in school. I am loner in school, I feel that I should start getting drunk and LSD.

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